The Bells Keep Ringing...

In the hymnal our church uses, there are a bunch of Christmas hymns.  Some of them, like What Child is This or God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, are familiar and sung frequently.  Others, like Once in David's Royal City, are less familiar.  Then there are few that other people seem to be familiar with and are often on Christmas CDs but that I don't know well at all.  A prime example of this is I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day.  I know of it.  I've probably even heard it sung before.  Until I heard Casting Crowns sing it, though, I had never paid attention to the lyrics, which I've copied below:

I heard the bells on Christmas day

Their old familiar carols play

And wild and sweet the words repeat

Of peace on earth, good will to men

I thought how, as the day had come

The belfries of all Christendom

Had rolled along the unbroken song

Of peace on earth, good will to men

And in despair I bowed my head

"There is no peace on earth," I said

"For hate is strong and mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good will to men"

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep

"God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;

The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,

With peace on earth, good will to men"

Till, ringing singing, on its way

The world revolved from night to day,

A voice, a chime, a chant sublime

Of peace on earth, good will to men

I don't know why I didn't know this song and haven't sung it before.  Those lyrics - particularly the third and fourth stanzas - capture almost perfectly the whole of Christmas and the purpose of the incarnation.  Christ came in the midst of a world of despair to announce to a people that had not heard his voice for hundreds of years that God was neither dead nor asleep!  Amen.

Crucifix v. Cross

One of the more interesting issues I have encountered during my recent fascination with monastic history has been the reaction of many of the Christians around me to the reproduction of the San Damiano Crucifix icon that I have hanging on my office wall, and to crucifixes in general.

As it turns out, many protestant churches - particularly the evangelical denominations - are not overly fond of crucifixes.  They prefer simple crosses.  Briefly, the difference between the two is that a crucifix, also sometimes called a rood, portrays the cross with Jesus on it - the cross of Good Friday.  The Protestant cross, though, purports to portray the cross of Easter Sunday morning...one without Christ.

In fact, the most common objection I have heard to my crucifix icon is just that, that "Jesus was raised from the dead, so he isn't on the cross anymore."  What that objection fails to understand, though, is that while the empty cross seen in most protestant churches is certainly the cross of Sunday morning, so too is the crucified Jesus portrayed on a crucifix.

The gospel accounts of the resurrection of Jesus all portray one particular characteristic of the risen Christ.  The risen Christ is still marked by the crucifixion.  Thomas is able to touch the wounds of Jesus.  Christ's hands are not healed and there are still holes in his feet.  His side is still split open from the soldier's spear.  The risen Christ is, paradoxically, still the crucified Christ.  To be sure, the body of the risen Christ is a glorified body, but it is most certainly not a completely healed body.

It is that paradox - that the risen Christ is and will eternally remain the crucified Christ - that a crucifix attempts to represent.  The crucifix on my wall keeps me from falling prey to the temptation to diminish the cross of Good Friday - to succumb to the uncomfortable feeling that a battered, bloody Jesus gives me and just skip right to Easter Sunday.

The fact of the matter is that no symbol - be it a crucifix or an empty cross - completely represents the truth of the gospel and of Jesus the Christ.  Each has something to teach us.

Vows

Because of my fascination with church history in general and with monasticism in particular, I find myself spending a lot of time lately searching for more and more information on my spiritual forefathers who served in early monasteries.  I have visited several monasteries and confess that, every time I visit one, I am a little envious of the simple daily rhythms of life for the monks.  I used to harbor the illusion that modern day monastics were just like their forebears...until I spent three days at an Abbey in Michigan.  Where the monks brew their own beer and talk about the latest internet craze and where one of the readings at meals comes from local news.

But we're far afield from the point of this post.  As I was learning more about the Benedictine approach to monasticism, I discovered what it was that made Benedict's Rule (the guide to life in a monastery community) so radically different from the rules of those who had gone before him.  Typical monks take three vows - poverty (not owning anything individually), chastity (no sex), and obedience (do what the Abbot tells you).  Benedict, though, added a fourth vow...that of stability.  By vowing stability, a monk was vowing to spend the entirety of his or her life at one monastery; thus curtailing a disturbing trend of monks moving from one monastery to another for trivial reasons.

I've been thinking about that for the last few minutes, and I came to a realization.  I wish we could convince the non-monastic members of churches in America to take vows of stability.  Church hopping has become a hobby in most communities.  I personally have known people who have changed churches because they didn't like the preaching, because someone they knew was offended by another member, and because one church offered something another church didn't.  Usually the excuse you hear from these people is, "I'm just not getting fed."

The problem with that excuse is that it hides the sin of pride - the thought that my desires or my needs are more important than my commitment to this community of believers...a commitment that, at its highest and best, extends beyond attendance to financial support and volunteering in ministries.  When we just automatically discount the power of that commitment, we lose something in the church.

Of course, not every Christian is like this - I know one particular churchgoer who told me during a particularly tough time at her local church that, even though she wasn't sure of the future of the church and not particularly fond of the minister, it was her church and she would be there "until the last dog dies."

That's the kind of vow of stability that I can get behind.

A Second Blog...

I'm not necessarily sure this is a great idea, but I have started a second blog.  The second blog, titled The Bibliomane and found here, is a separate entity devoted entirely to books.  This blog has developed into a repository for my deepest ruminations and spiritual thoughts, and I didn't want to clutter it up with a bunch of literature posts.  The easiest thing to do, then, was to create a second blog.

Hence The Bibliomane.  If you like books or are ever in need of a book recommendation, check it out!

Of course, all this really means is that I'm addicted to blogging.  

The Ultimate Answer to the "Dinner" Question

How many times have you heard the question, "If you could have dinner with one person or one group of people from history, who would you choose and why?"  As a history buff, I usually hate answering that question, and I never answer it the same way twice.  Previous answers in my past have included Dwight Eisenhower, MacArthur, Patton and Marshall all together; the writers of the four gospels; historian Stephen Ambrose; a few of the old popes; Martin Luther; well, you get the idea...the answer always seemed to change.

No longer.  I have found the answer to the question - the ultimate answer.  I was reading Brave Companions by noted historian and two-time Pulitzer Prize winner David McCullough when I first encountered the famous Saturday Club of the mid 1800s.  The fourth saturday of every month, the following gentlemen would gather to dine and to chat:

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow - One of the greatest poets in American History

Jean-Louis Aggasiz - A French geologist and polymath who almost singlehandedly transformed Harvard University into a modern mecca of education.

Ralph Waldo Emerson - Possibly the greatest American mind ever...I don't even need to say anymore.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. - A physician and another well-known poet.

And occasionally they were joined by a random nobody - one Nathaniel Hawthorne - the famous author of The Scarlet Letter.

I can't even begin to imagine the sheer mental power in the room when those men got together.  I would give large amounts of money just to sit and listen and overhear their conversations.  It boggles my mind - and it is something that will probably never happen again - that many of the greatest minds in the world gathering together...

Could there even be a better answer to the aforementioned "Dinner Question?"

I think not.

Whose Decision?

I recently started reading the book Mother Theresa: Come Be My Light - The Private Writings of the Saint of Calcutta.  The book was in the news when it was published because of the deeply personal nature of the writings, which include the revelation that Mother Theresa suffered for many years with an extended "dark night of the soul" in which she did not seem to experience any of God's love.  This revelation, however, is only a part of the book, albeit a large part.

The first few chapters chronicle Mother Theresa's early ministry and the founding of the Missionary Sisters of Charity, the order which would make her famous.  I have found the process absolutely fascinating.  The short version is that Mother Theresa felt Christ calling her to a deeper devotion to the poor in India, which she understood to mean the foundation of a new religious order.  Mother Theresa wanted to begin immediately, but she could not.  First she had to seek the approval of her superiors within the church hierarchy - her confessor, her bishop and, ultimately, from the Pope himself.  

Obviously, we know that the approval eventually came, but the time of waiting was difficult to Mother Theresa.  The book includes several letters she wrote to her bishop trying to convince him to let her move forward, as well as the bishops responses - in which he consistently reminds her that such decisions cannot be made hastily or without much care.  He - and the church hierarchy - wanted to ensure that the decision was based on God's will and not on anything else.

I got to thinking about that, and I realized that this is one area in which the Catholic Church has a leg up on the rest of us Christians.  How many church splits and disasters could have been avoided if pastors were forced to seek larger church approval before making any major changes?  If, before a pastor comes in and starts cancelling services and changing worship styles, the denomination said, "Wait, these decisions cannot be made hastily."  Instead, in most protestant churches, the onus of responsibility lies squarely on the shoulders of one person - the senior pastor.  It is the senior pastor that initiates change and leads change and, if the change does not go well, it is often the senior pastor that faces the consequences.

In Mother Theresa's case, though, the onus of responsibility was on more than just her.  The bishop and the entire Catholic Church stood behind the decision.  So when hard times came and the decision began to look doubtful, no one could say that the decision was made hastily.  Further, when those hard times came, Mother Theresa could rely on the support of the larger church.  When decisions are made at the local level only, that support is not always there.

I don't know what it would look like, but I am fairly sure that everyone would benefit from a hierarchical decision making process.  Of course, the hierarchical structure has its problems - but in decision making, it doesn't get much better.

Questions

So I posted some time ago about the book Surprised by Hope by N.T. Wright.  In it, Wright talks about reshaping our understanding of heaven and hell and the end of days.  It is a truly revolutionary book, and I keep coming back to it and thinking more and more about the implications - especially as I am also reading Hot, Flat, and Crowded by Thomas L. Friedman, which talks about the climate/energy crisis facing our world.

Here are some of the questions I've been asking myself lately (I'd love to hear some readers' thoughts):

1. If the end of days results in a renewed heaven and a new earth, what level of responsibility do Christians have to be advocates for earth-healthy lifestyles and policies?
2. Friedman shares the following alarming statistic: Every 20 minutes, somewhere on earth, a unique species goes extinct...as in gone forever, never to be seen again.  Will we be judged for the role that we have played in such destruction of God's creation?
3. To what extent will a renewed earth and a renewed "me" resemble the current earth and the current "me?"
4. Does an understanding of heaven as a completely renewed and fulfilled earth/physical body mean that I have a responsibility to take care of my body (i.e. exercise and eat well, stop doing unhealthy things)?
5. What if the reason the Bible offers all these "rules" against unhealthy behaviors is so that we can be better prepared for the renewed creation?  What if I'm not supposed to get drunk not because it is immediately risky, but because of the damage to my body?
6. The Bible teaches that the Risen Christ - our only example of what "renewed body" means - still carried the wounds of the cross.  Does that mean that we will still carry with us the marks and wounds of this life in the new creation, but in a "redeemed" way?

I'd better stop...I'm about to drive myself crazy. : )

Off Topic: Moments in History

For my grandparents generation, the one moment that they always remember is where they were on December 7, 1941 - the day Pearl Harbor was attacked.

For my parents generation, those moments include the assassination of JFK and the Oklahoma City bombing.

For my generation, to this point, there has been but one moment that we will never forget, and it is a moment of great tragedy - the attacks on New York and the Pentagon on 9/11.  Tonight, though, we are all witness to another one of those great moments, one with a much more positive tone.  Forty years from now, I will be able to tell my grandchildren about the day that the United States officially ended the Civil Rights movement by electing an African-American President.

I generally don't get caught up in patriotic attitudes, but I have never been more proud to call myself an American than I am at this moment, this historic moment.  My prayer is that this election will be a harbinger of days in which we no longer even have to think of or talk about race as an issue again...

Random Thoughts

I don't very often do random thoughts.  Well, that's not totally true - I often have random thoughts...I just generally don't write about them until I've spent a lot of time thinking about them.  But tonight I'm kind of stuck and need to take a few minutes to just divest myself of the glut of thoughts running around in my head.  I apologize in advance if it's random or if it doesn't make sense...

Here goes:

• Pastoring a church is really, really hard...
  
• I have no idea how to lead a church
  
• Why are we so obsessed with numbers?  Does it really matter that much if I added three people to my average attendance?  Isn't it more important that the people of the church came together and provided coats for a family that needed them and is putting together 100 boxes for Operation Christmas Child?
• I am not good at all at following the hard teachings of Jesus.
• How am I supposed to convince a church full of people to do the hard things that I don't do myself?
• I have to start doing the hard things.
• I don't want to start doing the hard things.
• Does that lack of desire to do the hard things - like stopping spending my money on books and mountain dew and instead give it away to people who need it or stopping eating like a glutton and take responsibility for my own body - mean that I am not a "real" Christian?
• Why on earth did God choose me for this task?
• I'm probably trying too hard to do all this on my own.
• I definitely need to learn that I am not in control of anything...which irritates me because I want to be in control.
• I don't care what people think of me, but I am finding myself constantly wondering if other pastors will see me as a success.
• Will I ever see myself as a success?
• I have always - for as long as I can remember, at least - dreamed about being a college professor and an author.
• That dream hasn't gone away since I received my call.
• Other dreams died - like the dreams of driving a really nice car and owning a really big house and of living a self-determined life.
• Why hasn't that dream of teaching and writing gone away?  Is that God's way of saying that it is okay to dream that dream; that maybe, just maybe, God's plan for my future involves the fulfillment of that dream?
• In order to teach, I would have to get a Ph.D. - I would LOVE to get a Ph.D. ... but how do I know if it's the right thing to do?
• Sometimes I think that being called to be a pastor means that I no longer have a right to dream any dream other than just, "I want to be where God wants me to be."
• Would it be turning my back on the call to preach if I were to become a teacher?
• Can I teach, write, AND preach?

Okay, that's enough random thoughts...I learned that apparently I am concerned with the idea of teaching & writing...

Wonder where that's going to go.

Vote for Me...I'm a Felon.

Okay, so I'd guess that most anyone who is reading this has heard the story of Senator Stevens from Alaska.  Senator Stevens was convicted earlier this week of five counts of corruption - all of which are felonies.  Remarkable in and of itself, but made all the more remarkable by the fact that Stevens is in the midst of a re-election bid...and is still going to be on the ballot.

That just blows my mind.  If you are a convicted felon, you lose your right to vote...but you CAN serve in the Senate?  Only in America.

Now, there is a good chance that Stevens will lose his re-election bid and, even if he doesn't, the Senate could vote to expel him...but still.

How on earth is this a good thing?  What's next, a pedophile for President?

More Jesus Visits...

So our church was visited by Jesus not just once, but twice this week.  Wednesday morning, I was working in the office and a gal walked in to see if we could help find coats for her and her kids.  After chatting with her for a while, I learned that her and her husband are in the middle of trying to move to the area and have been having some work difficulties - a bad economy at work.  By God's grace and through the efforts of the people of the church, we were able to find coats for her and for her two kids.

Whatever you do for the least of these...

Then, on Wednesday Night, we were doing our regular Bible study when a guy walked in who none of us had ever seen before.  I was ready for him to ask for money or gas or something and, sadly, my first thought was to give him whatever it was and let him be on his way.  How horrible is that?  But it turns out he didn't want anything other than to just sit with us as we studied the Sermon on the Mount.  He came in, sat down next to me and listened quietly through the whole lesson.  As we talked after the service, he mentioned that he had been on a walk, a brief respite from life, and saw the light on, and decided to walk in.  I chatted with him for a few minutes, prayed with him, and he was on his way.

Whatever you do for the least of these...

What struck me about these people is the stark differences between who can be "the least of these."  Typically I think of the least of these as only the excessively poor or hungry or children without medical care; or of third world countries.  It seems like the lesson for me this week is that the least of these can be a mother and wife who, because of circumstances completely out of her control, finds herself without coats for her kids as winter approaches.  The least of these can be a guy who just wants a break from whatever is going on in his life and decides to come to a Bible study.  There is no limit to the least of these, no limit to who my "neighbor" is.

Lord, thank you for opening my eyes this week to the truth of the world around me.  Not everyone who needs help is going to look like what I think.  Thank you for sending Jesus to our church to visit us, and I pray that you would continue to allow us the opportunity to minister to those around us - whether they "want" something or not.  Let our eyes continue to be opened to your view of the world!  You are so great and I exist, we exist, only to make your Name known.  To God be the glory.  Amen.

Really?

Okay, so I'm sitting here listening to ESPN radio, which I love to do.  This commercial comes on - its for one of those "settle your tax debt for pennies on the dollar" companies.  Those commercials annoy me to no end because of they way they portray delinquent taxes as no big deal.

The commercial I just heard had the following voiceover, "As an honest, hardworking American, you have rights..."

Really?  What part of cheating on your taxes is honest?  Perhaps these people are "working hard" at cheating the IRS?  How stupid can you be?

Then again, I also keep wondering - if our debt is so big and our economy is so bad, why exactly is the IRS allowing people to get out of paying what they owe?

I TOLD You So!!!

I'd just like to take a moment and speak to all the Chicago Bears fans out there.  And really, there's only one thing I'd like to say - I told you so, I told you so, I told you so.  When Kyle Orton was a rookie and had a 10-4 record as a starter, I told you.  When the coaches decided that wasn't good enough and went with Sexy Rexy, I told you.  When all of you were clamoring for the Bears to draft Brady Quinn, I told you...

Kyle Orton is a quality NFL starting QB and if the Bears would just give him a chance, they'll find out they already have a QB of the future...

And now I am proven right - today's defensive meltdown notwithstanding, Kyle Orton has been a big reason the Bears are 3-3...and if the rest of the team shows up for a couple games, they could easily be 5-1 or even 6-0.  There is no "good Kyle" vs. "bad Kyle" like with Grossman - only consistent QB play on a team that still doesn't have a great offensive line and whose supposed #1 receiver is a converted cornerback who has never figured out how to run a route other than the deep fly.

I know there will still be haters, just as there were when Drew Brees had his breakout year.  In a couple of years, though, when we're talking about Kyle Orton as a Pro-Bowl QB (provided the Bears actually get him some better weapons)...I'll come back one more time with...

I told you so.

Hypocrite Song

There is musician by the name of Eli that I have started listening to recently...well, in the last six months or so.  He sings contemporary Christian music with a folksy rock sound and amazingly well written lyrics.  One of my favorite songs he does is called simply, The Hypocrite Song, which has the following chorus:

Oh lai-dee-dai, Oh lai-dee-dee

I thank you, Lord, that there's a heaven

Full of hypocrites like me

So tell the angels to get ready

Because it may not be too long

'Til I come to sing my hypocrite song

It may just be me, but sometimes it seems that this kind of attitude is what's missing in a lot of Christians - the recognition that, despite our best intentions, we often fail to live out the things we claim to believe.  We don't always love, we don't always feed the hungry, we get angry, we get divorced, we have sex outside of marriage.  For the most part, we will all have a "hypocrite song" to sing before Christ.

As for me, I talk a lot about the need for Christians to be responsible with the environment, yet I still go to the gas station every morning and buy a 44 oz. styrofoam cup of Mountain Dew.  I go on and on about needing to feed the hungry and clothe the poor while continuing to drive by that guy holding a sign asking for food.  I have great thoughts about being a good steward with the resources God has given me but still waste money on frivolous garbage like online games and meaningless novels.  I'm pretty confident that my own hypocrite song would take a long, long time to sing...

Yes, it is most certainly a good thing that God's love and grace extends far enough to reach hypocrites and that there is a heaven "full of hypocrites" like me.  Perhaps over the course of time, I can re-write my hypocrite song and remove a few verses here and there.

Lord, help me to recognize the parts of my life that are merely the verses of my hypocrite song.  I don't want to be a vocal Christian, whose mouth says all the right things while my body doesn't do anything at all.  Teach me to be a better husband, a better father, a better pastor, a better follower of Christ.  If it's going to hurt, as I'm pretty confident it will, grant me the grace to suffer for the glory of the name of Jesus the Christ.  I know that, no matter how hard I try, I'll still have a hypocrite song to sing to you someday - but with your mercy, grace, and conviction, you can still help me make it really short.  Amen.

"Ain't No Mountain High Enough..."

I have a new goal in life - I want to climb the mountain in the picture above.  For those of you who may be mountain enthusiasts, that happens to be Mt. Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, Africa.

I know that this is probably a pipe dream, that I will probably never have the opportunity or the financial resources necessary to do it, but ever since I started reading the book John Bowling wrote when he climbed Kilimanjaro I have been obsessed with the idea.

For those of you who are thinking that I could never do it anyway, since I am not a big rock climber and I have no training for it, allow me to say that I have read several articles about the mountain, and Kili (yeah, that's one of the ways us "people in the know" abbreviate Kilimanjaro) is accessible to someone with reasonable hiking skills.  Though it is difficult, a novice climber can reach Uhuru Peak - 19,340 feet into the sky.

Such is my dream, and I pray that someday God will permit me the chance.

You Are

You are so big,

I am so small.

I know little,

You know all

You are holy,

I am not.

I am man,

You are God.

You are love,

I know hate.

I am nothing,

You are great.

You are strong,

I am so weak.

I want so much,

You're all I need.

You are mine,

I am yours.

I will not fear,

For I am YOURS!

Just something I came up with while praying through music this morning...

Understanding Redemption

Redemption doesn't mean scrapping what's there and starting again from a clean slate but rather liberating what has come to be enslaved." N.T. Wright, in Surprised by Hope

Thanks to the new pastor of the church in my hometown (way to go, Troy), I have started reading a book by New Testament scholar N.T. Wright that deals with the Christian concept of hope and eternal life and "heaven" and all of that.  The book is called Surprised by Hope and it is already causing me great discomfort as it challenges everything I've ever thought about the future of the world.

I grew up learning that Heaven was a place completely separate from earth where all the good Christians would go when God destroyed earth at the day of judgment.  Further, the understanding of heaven was that it was a place where my "soul" would go, and that the heavenly "body" would somehow be spiritual and not physical.

Here's the problem - how can that kind of heaven and that understanding of the end of earth be called redemption at all?  Wright is certainly correct when he says that redemption cannot simply mean the destruction of the old, for then all we are left with is re-creation.

The very concept of redemption involves somehow taking the defective, corrupted old and making it new.  Rather than destroying the old earth completely, God will somehow transform and cleanse the old earth and make it into the new earth - and while it will be noticeably different from the old earth, it will still be similar to it in the same way that Jesus' resurrection body was transformed from old into new but was still recognizable to the disciples.

In the same way, there will be a day when our bodies - our current physical existence - will be raised by God and transformed into a redeemed physicality.  What God did for Jesus was not the end of actual resurrection, but its beginning - it was not the end of a great battle but a harbinger of things to come.

I wish I could be more clear on this and I wish I could understand all the implications, but I can't and I don't.  All I know is that, in order for it to be truly redemption, it cannot involve the destruction of all that is old.

Purdue Football Rant

Is there any other team in college football as predictable as Purdue.  Watching the Oregon game yesterday made me sick.  As soon as Purdue got the 20-3 lead, I knew -  I KNEW - that they were going to go to a super-conservative offense.  So confident was I in this knowledge that I could have made the playcalls:

1st down - inside run (loss of two yards)

2nd down - quick slant or other short pass (incomplete or short gain)

3rd down - pass play that has receivers run routes short of the first down (doesn't matter if it's completed or not, we're still going to punt)

4th down - punt

That scheme held true in every case except WHEN IT SHOULD HAVE.  Up 20-3 with the ball and less than a minute to go in the half, and Tiller decides to get cute, which results in a turnover and 20-3 becomes 20-6, which eventually leads to 32-26.

And don't even get me started on the horrible playcalling at the end of the fourth quarter - settling for a 44 yard field goal in those conditions was beyond stupid.  EVERYONE in the stadium knew Summers was going to miss that kick - Lou freaking Groza would have had a tough time making that kick.  I'd bet Summers wanted to sock Tiller a good one for putting him in that position.

This is why I have a love/hate relationship with Purdue football - they don't know how to play to win.  Tiller and his staff have never figured out how to put an opponent out of its misery - it never matters how big the lead is in the first half, they always find a way to make it close at the end.

And that's not all:  What the heck happened to the playaction pass?  We didn't run ONE that I can recall from that game...the way Sheets was running, we should have been all over the playaction - it would have kept the defense off Painter and probably led to some open receivers and maybe even a touchdown.

Here's another novel idea: FAKE THE INSIDE HANDOFF!!!!!  Painter could have kept the ball and ran for 20+ yards multiple times when he handed off to Sheets on 1st and 10 for a two yard loss.  Or you could go for it on a fourth down once in awhile, just to make it look like you're trying to win - a fake punt or a fake fg, even.

Teach the gunners on punt coverage that they are suppose to STOP the guy who catches the ball, not run right by him.  Teach Painter that 5th year senior QBs who are supposedly Heisman candidates don't throw stupid interceptions and can figure out how to hit an open receiver in the endzone.  Teach the coaching staff that it IS okay to win.

I've got to stop, I can feel my blood pressure rising.

At least now that I live just north of Norman, Oklahoma, I get the chance to see what a REAL college football team looks like and what can happen if a coaching staff plays to win and not to "not lose."

Boomer Sooner & Boiler Down.

Why I went through...

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a particular affinity for the writing of the late Catholic priest Henri Nouwen. Affinity may not even be a strong enough word - it may be more of an obsession.

That said, I ran across a couple of statements in his book Creative Ministry that rank up there with some of the more important things I've read in the last few months. The book itself is about pastoral theology, or the relationship between the role that the pastor plays with his or her congregation and the role that the pastor plays in the Kingdom of God.

In the chapter on individual pastoral care (i.e. hospital visits, counseling, etc.), Nouwen talks about the pastor's need to be vulnerable with people - an idea that finds significant development in Nouwen's later works. While talking about this, he points out that pastors need to be both self-affirming and self-emptying:

"But self-affirmation and self-emptying are not opposites, because we can never give away what we do not have. We are unable to give ourselves in love when we are not aware of ourselves. We don't ever come to intimacy without having found and claimed our identity."

This is a truth that I have worked hard to resist, and it is a truth that is counter to the traditional understanding of ministry as a "profession." The current train of thought is that the pastor has to be able to be "professional" in every situation - by which is meant the pastor needs to be emotionally detached if he or she is going to be effective. The pastor is never called to completely surrender himself or herself to the life of the church - the pastor must retain a sense of personal identity that is sacrosanct.

Nouwen goes on to say:

"Through long and often painful formation and training, we ministers have to find our place in life, to discover our own contribution, and to affirm our own self: not to cling to it and claim it as our own unique property, but to go out, offer our services to others, and empty ourselves so that God can speak through us and invite others to new life."

I read that second quote and had one of those "Aha!" moments. I am one of those people who likes to look back at the seasons of my life and try to discern where God was moving and how God was shaping me...I find that it helps me retain hope in the future moving and shaping that God will do in my life. Anyway, I was contemplating Nouwen's words and thinking about the two years of my life that I spent outside of pastoral ministry; those times when I began to wonder if I was ever going to find that church God meant for me to lead; those months and months of living with family and answering the same tough questions about our future every Sunday at church.

I'm beginning to think that those times were part of what Nouwen calls "long and painful formation" in which I had to discover my identity and learn to affirm my own self and to prepare for the next step in that formation, which is happening here in Oklahoma - the emptying of that identity and self into others around me so that "God can speak through me and invite others to new life."

I still won't say that I enjoyed those two years. But I can say that I'm beginning to see that God was there and working and that every moment of those two years played an important role in preparing me to lead in His church. And that means it was all worth it.

First Lectionary Sermon

This week is the first week I am preaching from the lectionary.  I've got to say that I prefer to do it the other way.  With series preaching, I already know the basic message I'm trying to communicate and just need to use the text to confirm that message.  While I have to do exegesis, it's more of a "directed" exegesis.

Lectionary preaching, though, requires that I sit down with just the text and absolutely no idea of the message.  Then I have to read the text, study the text, look at the Greek/Hebrew and then ask the question:

What does this text have to say to the congregation God has given me to lead?

All that to say that sermon writing this week was a bigger challenge than that to which I am accustomed.  I had to say to God before I sat down to write that, if He didn't show up while I was typing the sermon, there would be nothing to say on Sunday.  I confess that I didn't like that at all, I would prefer to rely on my own ability to form creative sermons.

At the end of the day, I wrote the sermon.  And I am confident that it is not the exclusive product of my own biases.  Now, is it good?

We'll find that out on Sunday.

Dear Lord, Not Again...

Sometimes I wish God would just leave me alone.  Okay, not really - that would be the end of me. But can't God just let me take it easy for a little while?  Perhaps I should explain.

As some of you know, Mel had some complications after our son's birth this past January and had to have surgery.  This, of course, resulted in absurdly high bills.  We applied for financial assistance, which lowered it some, but not enough for us to be able to pay it.  To cut short a long story, I was sitting in the sanctuary of the church this morning praying and I just confessed to God that I was worried about it and that I wasn't really in the mood to pray...but I prayed anyway. And as of right now, that debt is no longer a problem.  God dealt with it.  Just like that.

So I'm pretty happy about this, obviously, as I sit in my office at the church listening to music.  I was thanking God for His providence and for His grace which provided resources that we neither had nor deserved to take care of a problem that, in the whole scheme of things, was nothing - when it happened.  Quietly, as I prayed a prayer of thanks, God planted the following thought in my head:

"This is what happens when my people pray."

And then for some reason I had the urge to listen to Pete Grieg's musical version of the vision for the 24-7 prayer movement.  Can you see where this is going?

I'm getting the feeling that God wants our little church here in Oklahoma City to pray like we've never prayed before...and it terrifies me.  I tried this once before, and it didn't exactly go as planned.  I don't want to go through that again.  But the idea is stuck in my head and in my heart.  So now what?

I guess I pray...and if this is truly what God wants May Avenue Wesleyan Church to do, then He will provide the motivation and the power...

Again.

Holy Irrelevance

"...I am deeply convinced that the Christian leader of the future is called to be completely irrelevant and to stand  in this world with nothing to offer but his or her own vulnerable self.  That is the way Jesus came to reveal God's love."

 - Henri Nouwen

If such a thing is possible, I simultaneously love this quote with all my heart and despise it with all my being.  I love it because it reminds me that God has not called me to be an answer guy who always has the correct verse or the correct theological solution to whatever situation the people with whom I come in contact might be facing.  Rather, God calls me to just be me and to show up and to love people.

If Nouwen is right - and it will come to no surprise to you that I believe he is - I am free from the necessity to make my ministry "relevant" by having catchy sermon titles and cool video graphics and the latest techno-junk that everyone else has.  Instead, I am to stand up in front of people and lay bare my soul and say, "Here is Jesus."  And I absolutely LOVE that!

Unfortunately, not everyone in the church around the world believes this to be true.  And THAT is why I despise Nouwen's words as much as I love them.  There are still so many people who expect the pastor to pontificate piously from the pedestal upon which they have placed him or her.  They don't want a vulnerable, weak pastor - they want the "Bible Answer Guy" (apologies to Hank Hanegraaf).  They're not so much interested in the Jesus of Good Friday as they are in the Jesus of Resurrection Morning and in the Jesus of Cleansing Temples.

There are still so many pastors and churches that believe that relevance is the only way for a church to grow and that no one will be attracted to the gospel unless we bend it and mold it to shape the culture.  That is why there are hundreds of conferences out there that teach pastors how to be "culturally relevant" and preach from the newspaper or from primetime television with a smattering of Scripture verses thrown in.  That is why there are so many churches that look like shopping malls...or warehouses...or department stores...or anything but churches.

Here's the problem.  For so many people - in fact, I would say for MOST people - irrelevance is not something to be embraced, it is something to be feared.  If I am relevant, people notice me and affirm my value.  If I am relevant, they compliment my sermons or Sunday School lessons.  If I am relevant, the world knows that I, Joseph Eugene Boggs, exist and am significant and make an impact on the people around me.

The same cannot be said of irrelevance.  If I am irrelevant, no one notices me and few people affirm my value.  If I am irrelevant, people may or may not compliment my teaching or preaching, and they may even not like what I have to say.  If I am irrelevant, I still exist, but the purpose of my life isn't to prove my significance or importance or even to make an impact on the people around me.  When I, Joseph Eugene Boggs, embrace the kind of holy irrelevance Nouwen describes, the world no longer sees me or knows me.  

Instead, the world comes to know that Jesus, the Christ, the Holy One of God exists and is significant and makes an impact on people's lives.

Well, I Never...

Over the course of the 27 years of my life, I have been called a lot of things...a LOT of things. Some of them have been good, many others have been not so good.  Yesterday, though, I was called something totally new, something I've never heard before.

It happened at the Pharmacy.  I went to pick up a prescription for my wife - a prescription that, to this point in our marriage, has never been covered by insurance.  So the gal at Walgreens imports our insurance information and it turns out that our new Blue Cross/Blue Shield insurance does cover the prescription.  You can only imagine my excitement.  Then she told me that, out of the $29.99, the insurance covered $2.70.

At which point, I smiled and commented, "Hey, over the course of 12 months, that works out to getting a month free."  I was genuinely happy for the $2.70.  The pharmacist on duty heard me and looked down to me and called me a name - the one I've heard before but never been called - she called me an optimist.

Apparently, Walgreens pharmacists and pharmacy techs have to deal with a bunch of people who complain about the inadequacy of their insurance coverage.  Personally, I don't get it - it's not like the Walgreens people have any input on insurance.  But they complain nonetheless, and this pharmacist was surprised by my optimism.

Now, those of you who know me know that, at heart, I tend to be a pessimist.  It is easier for me to see the negatives than the positives.  But apparently God wants that to change, because I've noticed in myself a growing tendency to "look on the bright side."  It's a whole lot easier to be a pessimist than an optimist.

But then would that pharmacist have ever noticed me?

How to Preach...

For those of you who are paying attention, I added a couple of blogs to my list of blogging friends on the sidebar.  One of them (secretariat) belongs to a friend of mine.  The other, Kingdom Musings, is my official "Pastor's Blog" for May Avenue Wesleyan Church in Oklahoma City.  I'll still be writing on here, but the Fool of God may turn into a more theological/deep thought blog.  Just a fair warning.  Now on to my topic for this post.

Ever since I was at Olivet studying to be a pastor, I've been a fan of series preaching - you know, picking a series of sermons that has a creative title and that will appeal to the congregation.  You theme them around Advent and Easter and other church weeks, or you do a "family" sermon series and and a "back to school" series, etc.  There are benefits to this style of preaching - pastors can tailor a preaching schedule that meets the understood needs of the congregation.  Since I was a student, I have believed that this is an acceptable way to preach, perhaps even the favored way.

The other alternative I learned about was centered around what is called the lectionary - a group of four readings - Old Testament, Psalm, Gospel, Epistle - that is chosen for each Sunday by the church.  There are two generally accepted lectionaries - Catholic and Anglican.  All Catholic priest select their sermon text from one of the week's lectionary readings, so the text is pretty constant all throughout the world.  Further, the lectionary is set up on a three year cycle and designed so that, each three years, the priest or pastor will have preached on all the significant doctrines or passages of Scripture.

I always thought that preaching the lectionary was dangerous - what is a pastor to do when the passages from the lectionary are "irrelevant" to her people?  People will be bored and will quit coming because the preaching "doesn't apply" to them.  Because of that concern, I have always planned on being a series preacher when I pastor.

That is, until I got to praying and thinking and reading about preaching in series.  When a pastor preaches only in series, she risks avoiding - whether intentionally or unintentionally - avoiding the hard texts and the hard topics in favor of staying relevant or keeping the congregation happy.  At least with the lectionary, the pastor cannot avoid certain passages of Scripture or certain doctrinal issues.

All that to say that I am officially in a quandary.  I can't decide what God wants me to do as pastor of May Avenue Wesleyan Church.  I have a responsibility as pastor to preach the whole of Scripture and to do so in a way that the people will understand and will come to believe and follow its teachings.  Can I do that as a series preacher?  Can I do it by preaching the lectionary?This may be the most critical decision I have to make, and I have no idea...

In the end, I guess it won't matter too much, as long as I continually take the time to place myself before God's throne and humbly ask Him what I need to be preaching.  Unfortunately, that doesn't make the decision for me.

Appointments Set by God

Have you ever had one of those moments where you knew that what was happening in your life at that time was most definitely a God thing?  Have you ever met someone and, after ten minutes you are completely sure that person crossed your path because God wanted him or her to?  I had one of those moments this evening here at Wesleyan Family Camp.

Melissa and I were eating dinner when another pastor on the district came over to introduce himself.  Ironically, his name is Joe.  He pastors in Missouri and is probably at least 20 years older than I am (Joe, if you read this and I'm wrong about that, please forgive me).

Anyway, we get to talking and I started sharing a little bit about my experience of journeying with God over the last several years and how God got the whole process started.  When Joe stopped and asked me what it was that served as the catalyst for God's work, I told him that it all began when I picked up A New Kind of Christian by Brian McLaren.  Joe's eyes lit up and he gave me a high five - apparently Joe is a fan of Brian McLaren.

As the conversation continued, Joe and I began to realize that God had brought us on somewhat similar journeys, at least recently.  Joe is, like me, a not-so-conservative Christian who is living in middle America and trying to figure out what it means to follow Jesus and how we can work together as a church to help people see that the truth of Christ is far more than what is seen on TV.

If this story isn't already unbelievable enough, our conversation continued and I mentioned that I am a Henri Nouwen fan.  Yes, Joe is a reader of Nouwen, so much so that he makes it a point to take an annual trip to a monastery for a week long silent retreat.

At this point, I'm starting to get a little freaked out, like one of those commercials on TV for retirement funds where young people have encounters with older, retired versions of themselves.  I'm thinking, "Is this guy me in 20 years?"  Well, God decided to show off even more by bringing to light that my new friend Joe, who likes Brian McLaren and Henri Nouwen, and who is a more progressive thinker, also happens to use an Orthodox Prayer Rope for reciting the Jesus Prayer and prays the Daily Office each day.

I can't even begin to express how much of an encouragement it is to find another pastor who happens to use the same odd combination of ways of prayer to communicate with God - and one who is successful, at that.  I have been worrying lately that my use of Orthodox prayer ropes and Catholic prayer books would cause issues within the church God has called me to lead here in Oklahoma.  They still may, but at least I know that there is one other guy - named Joe - who has figured out how to be successful with them.

God is sometimes funny, and God is most definitely always good!

We're HE-EERE!

Okay, so it's been a little bit since I've blogged, and I'm sure that there are some people who wish that I would do so.  Forgive me, it's been a little hectic getting everything done and unpacked here in Oklahoma City.

First things first, we absolutely love it here so far.  The city is great, if a little hot, and the church is even better.  God has had his hand in this and we are so thrilled with where he has called us.

We are off today to District Camp and Conference in Bartlesville, OK...so I won't be able to do too much on  here until a week from today.  But at least those few of you who read this are updated!

Peace,

jB

The Necessities of Life?

Just a few minutes ago,  I watched what is probably the single most aggravating and offensive commercial I've ever seen.  I was playing around on the computer and not watching TV too closely when I heard the following voice over, "I'm tired of seeing people suffer for the lack of life's necessities" (Or something to that effect).

I looked up from my computer game, expecting a Red Cross commercial or an ad for some other charitable organization.  Instead, what I got was a commercial for a local retailer of washers and dryers.

Really?  Is that what we're calling "life's necessities" these days?  Are there people out there whose lives are coming to an end because they don't have a matching set of Maytags?  And here I was under the impression that things like food and clean water and medicines for common diseases were life's necessities.  It's a good thing that the guy from the washer and dryer store is there to enlighten me.

Normally I would just roll my eyes at the combination of stupidity, ignorance and arrogance typical of most of us Americans (myself included).  However, I recently started reading a book by noted economist Jeffrey Sachs called The End of Poverty - a book that begins by detailing the appalling numbers of people dying for lack of life's REAL necessities, stories of people dying from malaria because they can't get nets and of AIDS hospitals that have the dying stacked so deep that there are two to a bed and often one on the floor next to the bed.  It makes me so mad!

And you know what the worst part is?  As I mentioned in a previous post, Melissa and I are getting ready to move to Oklahoma City.  The house we're moving to does not have gas, so our gas dryer isn't coming with us.  Which, of course, is a tragedy.  As I said to my wife, we can't just hang up our clothes around the house to dry (as probably the majority of people in the world do, when they get the chance to wash their clothes), we need an electric dryer.

So in the end, I can't be too mad at the guy on TV.  After all, it's me he's talking to...and I can't seem to stop listening.

Wow...has it really been that long?

Has it really been over a month since I posted.  Holy cow, where does the time go.  I suppose that when one is busy it is more difficult to find the time to "blog" about one's  life.  But I like blogging and am actually kind of sad that I went a month without posting...

Anyway, the quick update on my life is that Melissa and I have accepted a call to pastor May Avenue Wesleyan Church in Oklahoma City, OK.  We are extremely excited about the opportunity and looking forward to ministering together with the wonderful people of the church.  The interview went so well that I can hardly even describe it.  The people made us laugh and made us feel as if we'd been a part of the church for 20 years.  With that kind of welcoming attitude, it is a pretty safe bet that God will cause them to reap the benefits.

Well now I have to go get my daughter up and get her breakfast...perhaps it will not be longer than a month before I post again.

Why I love history...

I started reading a book just a few minutes ago - a book about the Battle of Little Big Horn, written from the perspective of the Lakota people.  In the introduction to the book, author Joseph Marshall offers up the following:

"Where are you from?

We all have heard that question more than we probably realize.  More often than not we respond with the name of the place where we were raised or where we were born or raised. That is, of course, the most obvious and seemingly logical answer.

Yet there is one place where we are all from, no matter our race or ethnicity or social status.

We are all from the past.

Who and what we are is shaped not only by the blood of our parents, grandparents, and ancestors, but also by their values, traditions, customs, and attitudes - and by the events they witnessed and experienced.  How we view the world today, as well as our individual, racial, and societal circumstances, depends on what happened to our ancestors, what they did or did not do, and on what they suffered or perpetrated.  Therefore, in order to understand ourselves, we must endeavor to understand who and what our ancestors were.  We must understand our past." (emphasis added)

That is why I love to read history so much.  I love the stories, not just of people who may have been my own ancestors, but of the ancestors of the people around me.  It's why I enjoy sitting down with the elder statesmen and women of the church and listening to them tell their stories.  Who they were has shaped what I am and what I become.  And of course, that truth extends to the future as well - who I am will shape what my children become; and my grandchildren; and my great-grandchildren; and on and on it goes.

Return of an Old "Friend"

I feel kind of like the hero in some bad spy movie sequel who, upon meeting the bad guy, says: "So, we meet again."  It seems like my old nemesis is trying to rear its head yet again.  I have had some issues with minor depression in the past and have been, for the most part, pretty good at fighting off the problem when it tries to come.

But for some reason it's harder this week than the last.  It feels like a battle that I can never fully win - like depression will always be with me.  Almost as if Jesus looked at me and, instead of saying, "The poor you will always have with you," has said instead, "The depression you will always have with you."  And I've got to say that I am not pleased by that.  To be fully open, I hate it.  I want to be "victorious" over it.  I don't want to continue to hear well-meaning, pious folks ask me if I have prayed about it or if there's any sin that's causing my issues.  I don't want to continue to have to spend every waking hour on the watch for that unknown trigger that will start the downward spiral, hoping that I can catch it in time.  Most of all, though, I don't want my issues with depression to be the reason that I never get a chance to pastor a church.

I know that I am God's beloved...at least intellectually.  Now if I could only learn to accept it in my heart.  I cling to the hope that, like my hero Henri Nouwen, I can find a way out of this depression and through it to a complete ministry to others.

Where's the Outcry?

Over the course of the last two weeks, there have been two major natural disasters in our world.  In Myanmar, as many as 125,000 people were killed and millions more left homeless by a cyclone.  In China, there was an earthquake that is being said to have claimed as many as 50,000 lives.  That's 175,000 lives that may have been lost in the last two weeks...just in natural disasters.

When I read about these two things - especially the cyclone - I couldn't help but think back to when Hurricane Katrina hit the gulf coast of the US in 2005.  And as I thought about it, one thing stood out to me - where is the outcry and the outpouring of support for the victims in Myanmar and China?  To be sure, relief agencies such as the Red Cross are doing their part for the cyclone and earthquake victims.  However, when Katrina hit, there was a massive outpouring of support for the city of New Orleans and other hard hit areas.  Some churches were able to raise millions of dollars to offer help...and this for a disaster in which less than 2,000 people lost their lives.

Now, I don't intend to minimize the deaths of 2,000 people.  Katrina was a national tragedy and the outpouring of support was admirable and amazing.  However, I can't help but question the church in particular when we can raise millions of dollars for our own cities and our own people but not others.  Where are the fundraisers being run for Myanmar in cities across the country?  Where are the churches sacrificing to raise millions of dollars to help earthquake victims in China?  Where are the people organizing trips to dig and to feed and to provide other support?

I think it is fair to say that all of the money that could - and arguably should - be going from our churches to Myanmar and China is staying right in the pockets of the people who sit in the pews.  After all, Myanmar and China are so far away - and there's nothing we can do anyway - that's what the Red Cross is for...

There are all kinds of excuses, and all of them are crap.  Period.  I simply refuse to believe that the same people who, three years ago, gave selflessly and sacrificially to Katrina Victims suddenly don't have the resources to sacrifice for an international tragedy that, at least in terms of lives lost, could end up being more than 500 times worse than Katrina.  We Americans are self-centered and bigoted and prejudiced...if we deign to give at all, it is only for our own kind.

I guess it suffices to say that this is one of those times that I am ashamed to be a part of the church in America.

jB

A Statement of Vision

Recently, I began planning a 24-7 prayer vigil for my local church that would take place over the course of one week.  God gave me the idea and the passion for it while I was reading Red Moon Rising by Pete Greig, which tells the story of the 24-7 prayer movement that is taking England - and the world - by storm.

It is a very intimidating thing to try and convince people to sign up to pray for one hour at, say, 3:00 in the morning.  It becomes all the more intimidating when one realizes that there are over 160 of these one hour slots to fill; and a prayer room to design, decorate, and consecrate; and prayer requests to gather; and lessons to teach; and on & on & on.

After I committed to doing this thing, as is so often the case, I began to have doubts:

"What if no one signs up?  What if the church hates the whole idea or won't get behind it?  What if it fails?  What if?  What if?  What if?"

And as I was praying about and pondering these doubts, God seemed to tell me two things.  First, success or failure is not mine to determine.  Mine is only to follow wherever it is that God is leading me.  The second message, though, was very profound to me and I have since decided that I am going to make it the motto of my life and ministry.  I may not always live up to it, but I know that it is the best description of where I want to be with God...

"I would rather fail at greatness than succeed at mediocrity."

I was robbed.

So I had to go up to our house in Merrillville to pick up some documents that Melissa and I needed.  Well, I got to the house and, surprise!, our house had been broken into.  To be more accurate, the best guess is that when I arrived the house was in the process of being robbed at that very moment, since we found some of the missing stuff sitting on the floor of the garage.  I bring this up to mention two things.

First, it is exactly like they show on TV and in the movies when someone's place gets "ransacked" - there is a moment of stunned disbelief.  That's what happened.  I opened the door and saw the TV, receiver, CD player and DVD player were all not where they were supposed to be, but it took me about ten seconds to realize what that meant...at which point I immediately got out of the house and called the police.

Second, I was somewhat surprised by my own reaction to the whole thing.  Of course, there was an initial burst of anger...and some fear (I own a high-powered air rifle and carried it around with me while I cleaned up the mess).  But those things quickly gave way to a sense of how good God is.  Had I not made a spontaneous decision to go get those documents tonight, our house might have been stripped clean.  Had I arrived any sooner, I might have actually caught the robbers in the act and been in physical danger.  Instead, I pull into the driveway and scare off whoever it was before they could get anything but the DVD player, receiver, and CD player - leaving behind all of Melissa's jewelry, all our important documents that were in our firesafe, and our two irreplaceable works of art.

God is definitely good.  And while I am certainly not glad that our house was broken into, I am pleased that God is beginning to show me what it means to live with a constant sense of joy and contentment.

jB

The War Inside

This clip comes from the movie The Fountainhead, with a screenplay written by Ayn Rand.  I consider the speech shown in the clip to be one of the greatest speeches I have ever heard.  It is also indicative of the constant struggle going on inside of me.

You see, I desire to be like Howard Roark, the man in the clip - I desire to defend man's right to live for his own sake.  I want to be a creator and not a parasite.  I look at the man Howard Roark - both in the words of this speech and in the book of the same title - and see an ideal to which I should strive...

But at the same time, Howard Roark is incompatible with my faith, with my desire to become like Christ.  In many respects, Christ is the exact antithesis of Howard Roark - a man who lives not for his own sake at all, but exclusively for the sake of others.  And this is the ideal to which I am called..

So one can see how there is a tension within me between these two noble ideals.  I say both are noble because I don't see this as an "old man" vs. "new man" debate or as Roark being exclusively bad.  There are parts of Roark's speech that are perfectly at home within my faith.  Christians should, for example, resist the attempts of any "collective" to destroy individuals.  One could argue that the call upon a Christian is to surrender to the collective that is the church...but this is not true.  Rather, the call for the Christian is to surrender to that which is Jesus Christ.

Further, who can hear these words and not want to be a creator and not a parasite:

"The creator stands on his own judgment; the parasite follows the opinions of others.  The creator thinks; the parasite copies.  The creator produces; the parasite loots.  The creator's concern is the conquest of nature; the parasite's concern is the conquest of men."

In short, I think that there is much in the speech of and the character that is Howard Roark that is admirable and should be striven toward.  However, Roark is not Christ.  Christ is the ultimate fulfillment of what Roark is describing, though.  For in Christ, we see a man who, though he appears to live exclusively for others, does so not out of a sense of duty or because someone has forced him.  Rather, Christ lives for the sake of others because it is precisely in him to do so.  It is the "work" of Christ.  It is Christ's identity.  It is the life of a man who, although he does not recognize the "right" of anyone to make claims on  him, chooses freely to allow and fulfill the claims of others.

I want to be like Howard Roark.  I also want to be like Jesus the Christ.  A little tension between the two may not be such a bad thing.

jB

Squashing Passion?

As I mentioned in my last post, I have been increasingly drawn to the concept of 24-7 prayer.  Perhaps even to the extent of exploring it as an avenue for future ministry.

Well, about a week ago, I contacted someone in the upper echelons of my local denominational organization about arranging a prayer vigil for the entire duration of our annual meeting.  I didn't know what was going to happen, but I contacted this person anyway.

I got a response back today that engendered two entirely different responses in rapid fire succession.  The essence of the response was that the prayer focus for our annual meeting was already being taken care of by this person and someone else.

My first reaction was to be somewhat upset.  After all, it was a terse response that seemed to say thanks but no thanks.  I'll confess that, in the back of my head, I thought, "Way to go, man.  Way to squash the passion I had for this.  Way to not let me get involved."

About ten seconds after that thought, I reconsidered the original response.  The person didn't tell me that I couldn't be involved or even that I shouldn't be involved.  Rather, all he said was that he was already working on it.  I was allowing my preconceived ideas to determine my response, which was childish and petulant ("If they don't want me to lead it, then fine...I'll take my toys and go home.).

Therein lies, I believe, the biggest lesson God has yet to teach me - and the one that I seem to be resisting the hardest.  I am a distinctly type A personality.  I like things to be done my way, and I like to be in control.  These desires have a disturbing tendency to overflow into my life as a minister, revealing themselves as an approach to ministerial involvement that says that, if I am not in charge, I will not participate.  I know, what a horrible attitude!

God wants me to be open to doing his work regardless of whether I am the man making the plans or the man cleaning the toilets at the end of the day.  Hopefully I can begin to take this lesson seriously and allow it to change the way I think and the way I operate.  I think I'll start by e-mailing the guy again about the prayer stuff and just saying, "Look, I just want to be involved in whatever way possible."

God doesn't squash passion - we do.

jB

A New Direction?

The last couple of weeks I have been doing a lot of reading on prayer.  Specifically, I have read two books by Peter Greig (one of the founders of the 24-7 Prayer Movement) - one titled God on Mute that talks about unanswered prayer and one titled Red Moon Rising that tells the story of 24-7 prayer.

As I've read, I have found myself inexorably drawn to this 24-7 prayer thing.  The very idea that a church can pray, as one church in Bluffton, IN has done, for TWO YEARS without stopping is so mind blowing that I want to have a part in it...I want to make it happen somewhere, anywhere around me.

The more I think about it, the more I think this might be the beginning of God's answer to my many prayers seeking clear direction for my future.  I've read other books that tell exciting stories of what God is doing in various ministries, and those books make me want to get involved too.  But nothing like this.  When I read Red Moon Rising  or I visit the 24-7 prayer website (24-7prayer.com), I feel like my whole body is afire with desire to get involved.  I haven't felt anything like this in a long time.

Perhaps it is a new direction.  I confess that it terrifies me, because prayer is one area of my spiritual life that I am decidedly not good at.  Not to mention, how do you make a living at prayer?  But I want it so badly that I would gladly sacrifice almost anything in my life to be a part of it.  My hope is that God makes clear his desire.  I know that he will...

eventually.

The words of the poor

One of my favorite preachers to listen to is Francis Chan, who pastors in Simi Valley, California.  This morning, I was listening to a sermon he preached on loving the poor and what that meant for his church.  At the end of the sermon, his wife came out and sang a song titled Think of Me, the lyrics of which I have reproduced here:

Think of Me

Lisa Chan

I have a name you can know it

It's been awhile since anybody asked

I love to laugh just like you do

And my family also means the world to me

So as you choose what to wear

Remember I fight to stay warm

As you decide where to eat

It's my children who mourn

Think of me

Let me live in your mind

Keep loving me

While others play blind

Show true religion

'Cause words don't relieve

Your actions, they heal me

Show that you believe

Think of me

You have a life, I understand

God has blessed you, so enjoy what He has given

Your hurts are real, as mine are

Possessions never shield a life from earthly pain

As you consider your life

Would you think about mine

As you remember my tears

Maybe yours disappear

Think of me

Let me live in your mind

Keep loving me

While others play blind

Show true religion

'Cause words don't relieve

Your actions, they heal me

Show that you believe

As you choose what to wear

Remember I fight to stay warm

As you decide where to eat

Hear my children who mourn

Think of me

Let me live in your mind

Keep on loving me

While others play blind

Show true religion

'Cause words don't relieve

Your actions, they heal me

Show you believe

Think of me

There are few songs anymore that really cause me to think or that have any impact on my world.  When I heard the words of that song, I was moved to tears.  How can I keep ignoring those around me who are desperate for food and water just so that I can get a bigger TV or so that I can get that book I've been wanting.  My needs and problems seem so much smaller in the face of such awareness.

jB

Torture and Eucharist

I recently read Torture and Eucharist by William Cavanaugh.  Several people had suggested that I read it and told me how great a book it is, so I finally picked it up.  Cavanaugh frames his entire discussion around the Chilean dictator Pinochet and his regime of torture.  It is a brilliant foray into that vague place where the church and the political world come together, and Cavanaugh suggests an entirely new way of being the church in a confused and politically pluralistic world.

I was fascinated by how relevant Cavanaugh's words are for the United States today.  Most people (rightfully) don't categorize the US government with regimes such as Pinochet's.  However, it cannot be legitimately argued that the United States government never engages in torture.  Ask the Iraqi prisoners from Abu Ghraib or the victims of waterboarding or the various other "interrogation techniques" commonly used by agencies of our government.  To be sure, the United States participates in torture at least to some extent.  And that makes Cavanaugh's book all the more relevant.

I was further struck by Cavanaugh's indictment of both of the common methods the church uses to interact with the government.  Using the Catholic church in Chile as his example, he shows how both the "conservative" idea of having the church run the government and the "liberal" idea of complete separation of church and state not only are inadequate reactions against torturing regimes but actually enable the torturers.  What, then, are we in the church who want to be true to Christ's calling left with?

According to Cavanaugh, the principal goal of torture is to dis-member the community - that is, to break down the social links between people and create a mass of individuals.  Individuals can't revolt and force the torturers out of business, but a community could, so the torturers do everything in their power to drive individuals into isolation.  It is against this intended goal of torture that the church must set itself, and the "weapon" which the church wields in the battle is the Eucharist.

In the Eucharist, isolated individuals come and together and take in the body and blood of Jesus and become a community again.  The tortured person and the paranoid community can come together and be re-membered.  The body of Christ is formed in the act of the Eucharist as people consume the bread and wine and are, in turn, consumed into Christ himself.  Thus, the torturers' goal of driving individuals to isolation is subverted.  Further, the church can (and should, according to Cavanaugh) refuse to serve the Eucharist to those who participate in the apparatus of torture until they cease doing so - which is the heart of "excommunication."

Admittedly, the idea of "excommunication" works much better in the Catholic church around the world than it ever could in most American protestant denominations or even in the American Catholic church.  I can't help but wonder, though, what would happen if the leaders of the many churches in the United States got together and collectively said, "We will not serve communion to those who participate in or enable the apparatus of torture - in our country or anywhere else."

Certainly many of those who participate in US sponsored torture would call themselves Christians - as our current President does.  What would happen if, the next time communion is served where President Bush is in attendance, the minister politely but firmly refused to serve the President?  Would it make a difference?  Would it motivate Bush to consider changing his administration's policy regarding torture?  What if the people who actually do the torturing were also barred from Eucharist?  Could we see a massive shift away from the apparatus of torture?

Possibly...I don't know.  Perhaps such a movement would be irretrievably damaged by the lackadaisical attitude towards the Eucharist in most American churches.  One thing I do know, though: it would certainly be a step in the right direction if the church would stop pandering to those who clamor for theocracy and those who clamor for complete removal of the church from public and political life and make its stand as the representative of the already-but-not-yet kingdom of God in the world.

NOTE: This has been a woefully inadequate summary of a fantastic book.  I recommend that anyone who is interested in the intersection of church and the political world read Torture and Eucharist.  It is a hard book to read, but it is certainly worth the effort.

Time to Start Anew

Well, I believe that the time has come for me to start blogging again.  For a long time, or at least what seemed like a long time, I had a Xanga blog.  However, it became a subject of conflict and so I decided to quit blogging for awhile.

Anyone who knows me, though, knows that I can't stop reading and thinking, and that I need an outlet for all that goes on in my head.  Thus, this blog.  I'll probably write mostly about God stuff and theology, but I'm sure to hit sports and history and a litany of other topics too...

For now, I'll leave off with my favorite non-Biblical quotation:

"The longer I live, the more I read, the more patiently I think and the more anxiously I inquire, the less I seem to know..."

President John Adams, toward the end of his life

I may only be 27 years old, but Adams' statement has already proven itself quite true in my own life and experience...

jB