Random Thoughts

I don't very often do random thoughts.  Well, that's not totally true - I often have random thoughts...I just generally don't write about them until I've spent a lot of time thinking about them.  But tonight I'm kind of stuck and need to take a few minutes to just divest myself of the glut of thoughts running around in my head.  I apologize in advance if it's random or if it doesn't make sense...

Here goes:

• Pastoring a church is really, really hard...
  
• I have no idea how to lead a church
  
• Why are we so obsessed with numbers?  Does it really matter that much if I added three people to my average attendance?  Isn't it more important that the people of the church came together and provided coats for a family that needed them and is putting together 100 boxes for Operation Christmas Child?
• I am not good at all at following the hard teachings of Jesus.
• How am I supposed to convince a church full of people to do the hard things that I don't do myself?
• I have to start doing the hard things.
• I don't want to start doing the hard things.
• Does that lack of desire to do the hard things - like stopping spending my money on books and mountain dew and instead give it away to people who need it or stopping eating like a glutton and take responsibility for my own body - mean that I am not a "real" Christian?
• Why on earth did God choose me for this task?
• I'm probably trying too hard to do all this on my own.
• I definitely need to learn that I am not in control of anything...which irritates me because I want to be in control.
• I don't care what people think of me, but I am finding myself constantly wondering if other pastors will see me as a success.
• Will I ever see myself as a success?
• I have always - for as long as I can remember, at least - dreamed about being a college professor and an author.
• That dream hasn't gone away since I received my call.
• Other dreams died - like the dreams of driving a really nice car and owning a really big house and of living a self-determined life.
• Why hasn't that dream of teaching and writing gone away?  Is that God's way of saying that it is okay to dream that dream; that maybe, just maybe, God's plan for my future involves the fulfillment of that dream?
• In order to teach, I would have to get a Ph.D. - I would LOVE to get a Ph.D. ... but how do I know if it's the right thing to do?
• Sometimes I think that being called to be a pastor means that I no longer have a right to dream any dream other than just, "I want to be where God wants me to be."
• Would it be turning my back on the call to preach if I were to become a teacher?
• Can I teach, write, AND preach?

Okay, that's enough random thoughts...I learned that apparently I am concerned with the idea of teaching & writing...

Wonder where that's going to go.

Vote for Me...I'm a Felon.

Okay, so I'd guess that most anyone who is reading this has heard the story of Senator Stevens from Alaska.  Senator Stevens was convicted earlier this week of five counts of corruption - all of which are felonies.  Remarkable in and of itself, but made all the more remarkable by the fact that Stevens is in the midst of a re-election bid...and is still going to be on the ballot.

That just blows my mind.  If you are a convicted felon, you lose your right to vote...but you CAN serve in the Senate?  Only in America.

Now, there is a good chance that Stevens will lose his re-election bid and, even if he doesn't, the Senate could vote to expel him...but still.

How on earth is this a good thing?  What's next, a pedophile for President?

More Jesus Visits...

So our church was visited by Jesus not just once, but twice this week.  Wednesday morning, I was working in the office and a gal walked in to see if we could help find coats for her and her kids.  After chatting with her for a while, I learned that her and her husband are in the middle of trying to move to the area and have been having some work difficulties - a bad economy at work.  By God's grace and through the efforts of the people of the church, we were able to find coats for her and for her two kids.

Whatever you do for the least of these...

Then, on Wednesday Night, we were doing our regular Bible study when a guy walked in who none of us had ever seen before.  I was ready for him to ask for money or gas or something and, sadly, my first thought was to give him whatever it was and let him be on his way.  How horrible is that?  But it turns out he didn't want anything other than to just sit with us as we studied the Sermon on the Mount.  He came in, sat down next to me and listened quietly through the whole lesson.  As we talked after the service, he mentioned that he had been on a walk, a brief respite from life, and saw the light on, and decided to walk in.  I chatted with him for a few minutes, prayed with him, and he was on his way.

Whatever you do for the least of these...

What struck me about these people is the stark differences between who can be "the least of these."  Typically I think of the least of these as only the excessively poor or hungry or children without medical care; or of third world countries.  It seems like the lesson for me this week is that the least of these can be a mother and wife who, because of circumstances completely out of her control, finds herself without coats for her kids as winter approaches.  The least of these can be a guy who just wants a break from whatever is going on in his life and decides to come to a Bible study.  There is no limit to the least of these, no limit to who my "neighbor" is.

Lord, thank you for opening my eyes this week to the truth of the world around me.  Not everyone who needs help is going to look like what I think.  Thank you for sending Jesus to our church to visit us, and I pray that you would continue to allow us the opportunity to minister to those around us - whether they "want" something or not.  Let our eyes continue to be opened to your view of the world!  You are so great and I exist, we exist, only to make your Name known.  To God be the glory.  Amen.

Really?

Okay, so I'm sitting here listening to ESPN radio, which I love to do.  This commercial comes on - its for one of those "settle your tax debt for pennies on the dollar" companies.  Those commercials annoy me to no end because of they way they portray delinquent taxes as no big deal.

The commercial I just heard had the following voiceover, "As an honest, hardworking American, you have rights..."

Really?  What part of cheating on your taxes is honest?  Perhaps these people are "working hard" at cheating the IRS?  How stupid can you be?

Then again, I also keep wondering - if our debt is so big and our economy is so bad, why exactly is the IRS allowing people to get out of paying what they owe?

I TOLD You So!!!

I'd just like to take a moment and speak to all the Chicago Bears fans out there.  And really, there's only one thing I'd like to say - I told you so, I told you so, I told you so.  When Kyle Orton was a rookie and had a 10-4 record as a starter, I told you.  When the coaches decided that wasn't good enough and went with Sexy Rexy, I told you.  When all of you were clamoring for the Bears to draft Brady Quinn, I told you...

Kyle Orton is a quality NFL starting QB and if the Bears would just give him a chance, they'll find out they already have a QB of the future...

And now I am proven right - today's defensive meltdown notwithstanding, Kyle Orton has been a big reason the Bears are 3-3...and if the rest of the team shows up for a couple games, they could easily be 5-1 or even 6-0.  There is no "good Kyle" vs. "bad Kyle" like with Grossman - only consistent QB play on a team that still doesn't have a great offensive line and whose supposed #1 receiver is a converted cornerback who has never figured out how to run a route other than the deep fly.

I know there will still be haters, just as there were when Drew Brees had his breakout year.  In a couple of years, though, when we're talking about Kyle Orton as a Pro-Bowl QB (provided the Bears actually get him some better weapons)...I'll come back one more time with...

I told you so.

Hypocrite Song

There is musician by the name of Eli that I have started listening to recently...well, in the last six months or so.  He sings contemporary Christian music with a folksy rock sound and amazingly well written lyrics.  One of my favorite songs he does is called simply, The Hypocrite Song, which has the following chorus:

Oh lai-dee-dai, Oh lai-dee-dee

I thank you, Lord, that there's a heaven

Full of hypocrites like me

So tell the angels to get ready

Because it may not be too long

'Til I come to sing my hypocrite song

It may just be me, but sometimes it seems that this kind of attitude is what's missing in a lot of Christians - the recognition that, despite our best intentions, we often fail to live out the things we claim to believe.  We don't always love, we don't always feed the hungry, we get angry, we get divorced, we have sex outside of marriage.  For the most part, we will all have a "hypocrite song" to sing before Christ.

As for me, I talk a lot about the need for Christians to be responsible with the environment, yet I still go to the gas station every morning and buy a 44 oz. styrofoam cup of Mountain Dew.  I go on and on about needing to feed the hungry and clothe the poor while continuing to drive by that guy holding a sign asking for food.  I have great thoughts about being a good steward with the resources God has given me but still waste money on frivolous garbage like online games and meaningless novels.  I'm pretty confident that my own hypocrite song would take a long, long time to sing...

Yes, it is most certainly a good thing that God's love and grace extends far enough to reach hypocrites and that there is a heaven "full of hypocrites" like me.  Perhaps over the course of time, I can re-write my hypocrite song and remove a few verses here and there.

Lord, help me to recognize the parts of my life that are merely the verses of my hypocrite song.  I don't want to be a vocal Christian, whose mouth says all the right things while my body doesn't do anything at all.  Teach me to be a better husband, a better father, a better pastor, a better follower of Christ.  If it's going to hurt, as I'm pretty confident it will, grant me the grace to suffer for the glory of the name of Jesus the Christ.  I know that, no matter how hard I try, I'll still have a hypocrite song to sing to you someday - but with your mercy, grace, and conviction, you can still help me make it really short.  Amen.