Reflections on 10 Years Gone and Dreams for 10 Years to Come

I turn 30 today.  Three decades I have been on the planet.  Almost 1/3 of a century.

If I'm honest, I'm not sure how I feel about that.  Or perhaps it would be better to say I wasn't sure how I felt about that.  At 30, I'm not exactly where I dreamed I would be.

Then I thought back over where I was 10 years ago today and realized that the last 10 years have been nothing short of amazing.

On the day I turned 20, I was still in college.  I had no degree.  I had never worked in a church.  I had a girlfriend but nothing else.

Between 20 and 30:

• I got married to a ridiculously beautiful and smart and funny and sexy woman.
• I had two amazing children who have transformed my life.
• I got a Bachelor's degree.
• I got a Master's degree.
• I served as an Associate Pastor
• I served as a Lead Pastor
• I experienced major transformation from God.
• I lived in Bourbonnais, IL; Overland Park, KS; Merillville, IN; Lafayette, IN; Oklahoma City, OK; and Logansport, IN.
• I bought a house.
• I sold a house (after a lot of heartache).
• I survived having my house broken into.

There's probably a whole lot more I could list, but that's enough to get the point across, which is this: I said that I am not where I dreamed I would be at 30, but the truth is that my life is much better than I dreamed it would be at this point.

The temptation for me has always been to look at what I haven't accomplished and be disappointed and slide into thinking that I have accomplished nothing.  The list up there puts the lie to that.  Yes, there are things that I thought would have happened by the time I turned 30 - ordination, for one.  Yet in spite of those things, the last 10 years of my life have been amazing.  Throughout it all I have seen God's hand and experienced God's guidance - even if I have to admit that sometimes that guidance was not exactly what I wanted to hear.


There is no doubt in my mind that the me I am today at 30 is better than it would have been had everything gone according to my plans.

With that in mind, then, I offer up the following dreams for the next 10 years of my life - fully recognizing that they may or may not come true but remaining confident that when I type an "I'm turning 40" blog entry, my life will have been just what it needed to be.

By 40:

• I would like to be even happier in my marriage than I am now.
• I would like to see my kids continue to grow into the awesome boy and girl they are becoming.
• I would like to have bought a house with my wife that we can stay in for 10+ years.
• I would like to never distance myself from God.
• I would like to complete a Master of Divinity degree.
• I would like to complete a Doctoral degree.
• I would like to have written a book (not necessarily published by 40, but at least written)
• I would like to be established as a Spiritual Director and/or Spiritual Formation pastor.
• I would like to be ordained.
• I would like to have traveled to England and/or Europe.

I don't think that's too much to ask, is it?

jB

Complete Victory

The chorus of one of my favorite songs - Mighty To Save - includes a line that is quite appropriate to the celebration of Easter.  Speaking of Jesus, the same Jesus who was crucified, dead and buried, the song says:

"He rose and conquered the grave."

Jesus conquered the grave.  Conquered.  As in defeated.  As in overcame.  As in took away the power of the grave.

The song is not alone in its proclamation.  Nearly all of the ancient creeds of the Christian faith contain language about Jesus' descent into the grave (or hell, if you prefer) and his victorious ascent.

Moreover, Jesus himself speaks of this ultimate victory, in Revelation 1:18:

 I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever!  And I hold the keys of death and hell.


I love this verse.  To me, it is the perfect Easter verse.  You see, Jesus was dead as dead could be on Friday but on Sunday Jesus was resurrected and, in doing so, Jesus permanently conquered the grave and hell.

All of that leads me to the question: Why does Jesus say that he has the keys if not to proclaim that ultimately even the gates of hell will be thrown open and even those once condemned will be given the opportunity to join God's Kingdom again?

Jesus has the keys, so he can unlock hell and the grave whenever he desires, so what possible reason could we have for assuming that he won't?  I have read some interpreters who have said that Jesus has the keys in order to ensure that the gates of hell remain locked and all those bad people will stay in.

Huh?

Where in the New Testament do we find any image of Jesus as an excluder?  Where do we see Jesus keeping people out?  Show me...

It's not there!  We see instead a Jesus who lets everyone hang out with him and who calls the outcasts to the highest positions in his ministry.  We see a radically inclusive Jesus.

So tell me again where it makes sense that Jesus would use his victory against death and hell to keep people in?

Besides, what kind of victory did Jesus win on Easter morning if in the end hell is still eternal and final?  How is that "conquering the grave and hell?"

This, to me is the great news of Easter.  Not only is Jesus alive.  Not only does Jesus' life mean that every part and member of creation can also have life to the fullest.  Not only does Jesus' life mean that God's Kingdom has broken in here and now.

Ultimately, Easter means all of that and more: Jesus' life defeats death forever and throws open the gates of death and hell, finally and completely removing the last barrier keeping people from choosing to enter God's Kingdom.

Does it get any better than that?

An Invitation to Dance

When I was growing up, there was a very distinct image of God painted by those around me.  God was the most powerful being ever and God knows everything.  Consequently, God was watching every minute of my life and was especially disappointed when I failed, when I sinned, when I let Jesus down.

I'm not sure that it was intentional by the people around me, but this image was reinforced all the time - by Sunday School teachers, by pastors, by my parents, by everyone.  The only God I knew was the all-knowing God with the eagle eye for sin.

And I have to confess that I have always felt the tension between that image of God and the loving Jesus that I was always taught about.  Jesus wanted to be my friend, God just demanded my obedience.  For most of my life I was unable to put words to the dilemma, but I felt it nonetheless.  Jesus was kind but God was oppressive.  Jesus I wanted, God I didn't.

Over the course of the last several years, though, I have come to understand where that tension comes from.  When we are tied to a view of God who knows absolutely every detail about everything, we cannot escape the oppressive God.  A God who knows every detail of the future cannot be loved, only obeyed and feared.

Yet this was all I knew...until I encountered theologian Clark Pinnock and a radically different image of God.  Pinnock writes that, instead of viewing God as an oppressive, all-knowing dictator,

God is like the partner in a dance.  As we act out our steps God is always there, leaping at just the right moments, steadying at others, and keeping perfect balance with the living reality that we are.

God as dance partner?  What a beautiful image!  God is  not a judge dispassionately watching us dance through life, looking for our missteps and criticizing us for our falls.  God is not the sole choreographer, either; God is not demanding that we slavishly follow the steps that have been laid out since the beginning of time.  No, God allows us to play a part in choreographing the dance of our lives - indeed, the dance of creation itself. 

God dances with us.  God responds to us.  God is always there to join us in a dance.  The invitation never expires.

What a contrast to the domineering God I heard about for so many years!

In a way, God as the dance partner is a fitting image, since the dominant theological image for the Trinity is one of dance (the technical word used by many theologians is perichoresis) - the Father, the Son and the Spirit are all engaged in an eternal dance in which all lead and none lead.  It is the ultimate expression of love and joy.

And that is what God invites us to be a part of.  Where do I sign up?

I can't help but think that if we who are already learning to dance with God spent more time inviting others to join the dance and less time trying to get them to say a particular prayer or start following a certain list of rules, we would have much greater success with that thing we call "evangelism."

Because God is not waiting for people to say a prayer or obey a list of rules.

God is waiting with hand extended, asking quite simply,

"May I have this dance?"

Why I am, In Spite of Myself, Ultimately an Optimist

Having spent some time reflecting on the series of "Why I am..." posts over the last several days, it occurs to me that the list is incomplete.  Because in addition to being tolerant, rational, contemplative, an evolutionist, an Ally, an open theist and a (sort of, but not really) universalist - or perhaps more accurately because of all of those things, I am slowly becoming radically optimistic.

All of those things add up in my mind to good news.  And as we enter Holy Week leading up to Easter, I can't help but think that the world could use some good news.

Not the good news that declares some people in and other people out.  Not the good news that is intolerant and exclusive.  Not the good news, in other words, that isn't good news at all.

What the world needs is the good news that makes me an optimist - the good news that God actually truly cares about the world God created; the good news that, in the end, God's love will win; the good news that earthquakes and floods and death and dying and even hell are not the end; the good news that Jesus - the man who died on a cross, was buried and rose again - has conquered death and hell forever.

Forever.

As in eternity.

That's a long time...and in all that time, death and hell will never win.  That's good news.

And that's what makes me an optimist.

I can be optimistic in the face of hatred because I know that the day is coming when even hatred will pale in the face of the love of God.  I can be optimistic in the face of poverty because I know that the day is coming when the God who already suffers with the poor will make all things right.  I can be optimistic in the face of war because I know the day is coming when peace will reign.

In short, I have more hope now than I have ever had at any point in my life.  Whereas before the God I was told to believe in seemed to stand in contrast to real hope, now I am convinced that God is the source of all hope.

Like I said, that's good news.

jB

Mercy Beyond Comprehension

One of my favorite New Testament stories involves Jesus, a demon possessed man and a herd of pigs.  The story is found in Luke 8 and Mark 5, and it goes something like this:

Jesus enters a town and, as he does so, he encounters a man possessed by a demon.  The usual "casting out" encounter occurs, with one exception.  Rather than simply cast the demons - since there were many - out, Jesus permits the demons to enter a herd of pigs, which then commit mass suicide by jumping off a cliff.  The formerly possessed man and the witnesses go running into town to tell everyone.

This is when the story gets interesting - the people don't react as you might expect.  You would expect that they would be overjoyed that this Jesus guy, a guy who could heal and cast out demons, had come to their town.  That's not what happens at all.  Instead, they get scared and they ask Jesus to leave.  That's right, before Jesus even has a chance to teach them or proclaim the good news of the Kingdom of God to them, they ask him to leave their town.

Never willing to force himself on people, Jesus complies with their request and heads back to the boat.  The formerly possessed man begs, begs Jesus to come along, to be allowed to travel with Jesus.

And now we come to why I love this story - Jesus won't let him come along.  Instead, Jesus sends the man back into the town with the following instruction: "Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you."

This amazes me.  It leaves me in speechless awe at the mercy of God in Jesus.

This was a town that had deliberately chosen to not have Jesus come to them.  They stated as clearly as possible that they wanted nothing to do with Jesus when they asked him to get back in the boat and leave.

Yet...Jesus doesn't give up on this town.  He could have, and he would have been justified.  After all, they did say that they didn't want to hear what Jesus had to say.

But Jesus has other ideas - he leaves, but he leaves them with a messenger in the man who had been possessed.  Even through their resistance, they would have the visible witness of the Kingdom of God presented by this healed man.

The mercy of God is beyond compare and beyond comprehension.  Never will God give up on people.  Even those people who deliberately ask God to leave them alone are not beyond the reach of God's mercy.  God will always pursue and will use whatever messenger God can.

Amen.

Why I am (sort of, but not really) a Universalist

A couple of days ago, my Lenten reading schedule had me reading through the book of Lamentations.  As the title suggests, there's not much in Lamentations that is positive or hopeful - it is generally a litany of complaints and "woes."

At least, that's what I've come to expect.  Imagine my surprise, then, when I ran across Lamentations 3:21-24, which read:

Yet this I call to mind
     and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord's great love
     we are not consumed,
     for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
     great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion;
     therefore I will wait for him."


God's compassions never fail?  Really?  Never?  As in never-ever?

Do we really believe this?  Do we really believe that the love and compassion and mercy of God are limitless?  Or do we believe something else?

If you were to ask most Christians whether or not they believe that God's compassions never fail and I am convinced you will get an affirmative answer.  Of course they believe that.

But if you were to analyze the beliefs and behaviors of those same Christians, I am not convinced you would find the same affirmative answer.  Instead, what comes across is, "Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed" - while we are alive, but if you die without knowing Jesus, you're screwed; and "For his compassions never fail"...until it comes time to send people to hell for eternal punishment.

The traditional view of hell and eternal punishment, it seems, sends a different message than that God's compassion never fails.


In one of the readings for my class this week, the author commented that eternal conscious punishment is a punishment far too excessive for the deeds of a 70-80 year lifespan.  He has a point.

You see, never is a long time.  Never goes beyond the 70-80 years of life the average person gets on this earth.  So, if we believe that God's compassion never fails, what do we say about death and eternity?

All of this is why I have come to the point where I reject absolutely the view of hell as eternal conscious punishment, as God sending people to never-ending pain and suffering.

Let me address two common questions:

1) Does this mean that I believe everybody will "go to heaven?" - No.  What I believe the biblical narrative teaches is that God's compassion and mercy are so great that God will never stop encouraging people to choose God.  Death is not a barrier to God.  Jesus conquered the grave.

However, the biblical narrative also clearly teaches that God has created humans with free will and that God respects that free will.  Just as it is possible that someone can live for 80 years on this earth and continually choose not  to be in relationship with God, it is possible for that "no" to continue on after death...potentially even throughout the whole of eternity (though I admit that I find it difficult to believe that anyone would be able to eternally resist the persuasive power of God.

2) Does this mean that I do not believe in "hell?" - Again, no.  "Hell" is the natural consequence of choosing not to be in relationship with God.  As such, "Hell" is experienced here and now and (potentially) for eternity.  Hatred and oppression and violence and war are manifestations of hell, as are hunger and thirst and sickness.

The radical difference between this view of hell and the traditional view is that in this view, God does not send people to hell.  Rather, hell is what happens when God respects the free will choices of individual human beings.  Whether or not to be in hell is my decision - God is always there waiting for me to choose God.

Because God's compassions never fail.

jB

Why I am an Open Theist

Open Theist sounds like a technical theological term and, in many respects it is.  However, it is a theological term with tremendous impact on how people live and act.  So what does it mean?

In the simplest of terms, an open theist is a person who believes that the future is "open" - that is, not determined before it happens.  The extension of this is that an open theist believes that God does not have "exhaustive definite foreknowledge" (EDF) - a complicated way of saying that God does not know the outcome of free choices I have yet to make.  In other words, God does not know what I am going to have for breakfast on my 35th birthday because I have not yet made that choice.

While I want to avoid turning this into a discussion of the detailed theological side of open theism (you can pick up Most Moved Mover by Clark Pinnock if you're interested in knowing more), there is an important comment I have to make.  There are two schools of thought as to why God does not have EDF. 

The first says that God cannot know because the future does not exist to be known.  I'm not sure this view is accurate.

The second - to which I ascribe - is that God chooses to not know.

But why would God choose to not know?  Simply put, for the sake of love.

God loves creation and desires to be in relationship with it.  A relationship - as any good counselor will tell you - requires give and take.  This is what God has with creation - God gives to creation and creation gives to God.  If God is distant and removed from the world, there could be no relationship. 

The God of EDF is more like a dictator than a beloved parent.  The God of EDF is never wrong, never changes his mind and is, in many respects, unlovable.

Open theists - like myself - believe that God is not like that.  We believe that God takes risks, that things don't always turn out the way God wants, that God adapts God's plans in response to the actions of humanity.

Before you write this off as "out there" and/or "heresy" (as too many have already done), take a look at the story of Hezekiah in 2 Kings 20.  Here's the story in a nutshell:

Hezekiah gets sick and God tells him he will die.  In response to the news of his impending death, Hezekiah prays to God and begs God to remember his faithfulness to God's desires.  In response to Hezekiah's prayer, God changes God's mind!  Hezekiah does not die as originally promised, but lives another 15 years.

There are two different ways to look at what happens in this story.  If God had EDF, God would have known that Hezekiah was not going to die for 15 years, which leads to an uncomfortable reality - God was deceitful with Hezekiah...God lied to Hezekiah.  Surely we cannot agree with such an idea.

The alternative view is that God genuinely interacted with Hezekiah and God changed the date of Hezekiah's death as a result of Hezekiah's prayer.  God's honesty and goodness are preserved.

Thus we come to the crux of the issue for me - in reality, every Christian acts as an open theist.  Whenever we pray, we are assuming that God hears our prayers and responds to them by changing God's actions.  We pray that God will heal from cancer with the honest hope and belief that God can do it.  If God has EDF, why pray?

Open theism makes sense, is supported by Scripture and has been found in some form or another throughout Christian history.

I'll leave off with the question that started the process that led me to become an open theist.  I challenge you to think about it for awhile.

Could Mary have said no?

jB